


WWE Interviews

by Synnerxx



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Bashing, Crack, Gen, Interviews, Out of Character, Roleplay Logs, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-15
Updated: 2008-08-15
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6957898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Undertaker and Kane interview Superstars and Divas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stone Cold Steve Austin

**Author's Note:**

> co-written with my niece.

Vince McMahon: Here are your hosts!!

The Undertaker and his brother Kane.

Kane and Undertaker: Half-brothers!

Vince: Whatever. Here is the interviewee: Stone Cold Steve Austin!

'Taker: Why him? No one likes him.

Austin: Hey!

Kane: It's true.

Vince: Play nice, kids.

'Taker , Kane and Austin: SHUT UP!!

Vince: -backs away slowly- Finds doorknob and runs away.

Austin: Ooooo...kkkkkkkk...

'Taker: Vince is a loser.

Kane: Dat True.

'Taker: -stares at Kane in shock-

Austin: -slaps Kane- Don't talk like that. It's scary.

'Taker: -punches Austin- Only I get to hit him on here!

Austin: -holds icepack to his nose- -glares angrily-

Kane: Why do you get to hit me? Who do I get to hit?

'Taker: 'Cause I'm the older one and you don't get to hit anyone! -sticks out tongue-

Austin: Ummm, what about the interview?

Kane&'Taker: Oh Yeah!

Austin: So, questions?

'Taker: ...I got nothing. Kane?

Kane: Are you a slacker mom?

'Taker: Hahahahaha!

Austin: What the hell?

Kane: What? That's what it says on the computer screen.

'Taker: Where did you get the laptop and why don't I have one??

Austin: Forget you, what about me? I'm the World Champion!

Kane: So you say.

Austin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?? I have the belt to prove it. -rummages around in his bag- Where is it? I know I put in here...

'Taker: -holds up the belt and shushes Kane-

Kane: -giggles-

Austin: What are you laughing at, crispy?

'Taker: What. Did. You. Call. Him.

Austin: -gulps- I'm screwed now, ain't I?

Kane: -nods- When 'Taker gets into "Big Brother" mode...run.

Austin: -runs away- -realizes door is locked- Oh crap.

'Taker: -grins evilly- "Oh crap" is right. -whips out Austin's belt-

Kane: I'm surrounded by morons.

'Taker and Austin: What'd you call me?!

Kane: Not you, 'Taker.

'Taker: Ok. -goes back to Austin-

Austin: Um...I love you?

'Taker: -stops and looks thoughtful- Really?

Austin: Um, yes? -looks at Kane for help-

Kane: Don't look at me, I'm not helping you. You called me crispy. -pouts-

Austin: Sorry. -stops looking at Kane and looks at 'Taker-

'Taker: I always knew you were gay. -sits back down beside Kane-

Kane: -eats popcorn-

Austin: WHAT!! I am NOT gay!! You are!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

'Taker: If you're not gay, then how come you always hanging around with half-naked guys?

Austin: It's my job!

Kane: So you're a stripper?

'Taker: So it's your job to be gay?

Austin: No and No! I'm the World Champion of the WWE! -snatches his belt from 'Taker-

'Taker: -stands up again- Did you just snatch that from me?

Austin: No...You gave it to me, remember? Just now.

'Taker: -looks at Kane- Did I?

Kane: No. He snatched it away from you. Want some popcorn?

'Taker: Ok, and no. -beats Austin with a whip-

Austin: -grabs the end of the whip- Hit me again, punk!

Kane: Ohhhh, burn!

'Taker and Austin: -looks at Kane in disbelief that he said that-

Kane: What? -looks confused- Did I say something weird?

'Taker: -puts his hand on Kane's forehead- Are you okay? -is concerned-

Kane: Yeah. I'm a wombat. Pet me.

'Taker: -looks scared but pets Kane-

Kane: -purrs-

Austin: If you're a wombat then, I'm a wallaby.

Kane: Here,I'll bring up some pictures of wombats and wallabies.

'Taker: You're both insane. -shakes head sadly- Come on, Kane. Into the truck.

Kane: No. That is an evil truck.

Austin: How is it "evil"?

Kane: 'Cause he wants to take me to the looney bin.

Austin: Oh.

'Taker: Fine. I won't take you. Can I take Austin?

Kane: Better ask Vince before you run off with random SuperStars.

-Vince appears out of nowhere-

Vince: Someone need to ask me something?

Kane: How and why do you do that?

Vince: -sarcastically- Spidey Sense.

Kane: -is excited- Really??

Vince: No.

'Taker: -interrupting Vince- can I take Austin to the looney-bin since Kane won't let me take him?

Vince: -checks Austin's schedule- No, sorry. He has his premier to go to after this. By the way, why aren't you asking any questions?

Kane and 'Taker: Ummmm...

Austin: 'Cause they suck that's why.

'Taker & Kane: I do NOT suck.

Kane: We're not D-X, you know.

Vince: Whatever. I need Austin back to get him ready for his red carpet debut.

Austin: Yes! Thank you, Vince! -runs out the door-

Vince: Play nice with each other until your next interviewee comes. And ask them questions, please. Good-bye.

-follows Austin-


	2. Ashley Massaro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley is interviewed.

'Taker: Who's the next victim...I mean interview?

Kane: -typing- Ashley.

'Taker: The Play-Boy Bunny? -is happy-

Kane: Yep.

'Taker: -giggles uncontrollably-

Kane: -looks scared-

Ashley: Hi guys!

Kane: Hello.

'Taker: -still giggling-

Ashley: Is he okay?

Kane: No. He has...issues.

'Taker: -stops finally- I do not! Hey Ashley.

Ashley: Hey. So what's the first question?

Kane: What's the best thing about being a Diva?

Ashley: Um, I guess just being able to hang out with all the wrestlers and have a good time.

'Taker: -looking pervy- How do you mean "hang out"?

Kane: -smacks 'Taker on the back of the head- May I remind you that you're married?

'Taker: -rubbing his head- No, you may not.

Ashley: Do I have to answer that?

Kane: No. Ignore him. He's expecting a new brain in the mail any day now.

Ashley: -laughs- So, you're the smart, cool brother?

'Taker: -stops laughing- -sputters- What?! No he's not. I am.

Kane: Yeah, right.

Ashley: I agree with Kane.

'Taker: Why??

Ashley: Because when I came in, you kept giggling. Aren't you married?

'Taker: Maybe...

Kane: Yes he is.

Ashley: I've got Sara on speed-dial. -calls Sara- Sara said that you're are in big trouble when you get home.

'Taker: -gulps- Ok... -is sad-

Kane: HAHAHAHA!!

'Taker: What are you laughing at, you skank-ass?

Kane: What the hell is a skank-ass?

'Taker: You.

Ashley: You guys work this out, I've got to go. See Ya! -runs to the door and leaves-

'Taker: See what you did?!

Kane: Me? You're the married one who's hitting on her!

Vince: -again with the appearing out of nowhere- Boys, can't you even get through one interview without messing it up?

Kane: No, thanks to him. -jabs thumb in 'Takers' direction-

'Taker: -glares- You...Will...Rest...In...Pea-

Kane: Yeah, yeah. Save it. We've all heard it before. It's gettin' old. Like you.

'Taker: I am NOT old!

Kane: You are sooooo old!

'Taker: Are NOT!

Kane: Are too!

'Taker: Are NOT!

Kane: Are too!

'Taker: Are NOT!

Vince: ENOUGH!

'Taker & Kane: -flinches-

Vince: -takes a deep breath- Are you going to do this next one right?

Kane & 'Taker: Yes.

Vince: Good. Deuce and Domino are next.

'Taker: Those idiots?

Vince: Don't insult the wrestlers. Play nice until I get back.

'Taker&Kane: -whines- Do we have to?

Vince: Yes. -leaves-

'Taker: We'll be back with Numbnut and Dinkus next time on..

Kane: WWE Interviews. See ya!


End file.
